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The current year represents a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {